Good interpersonal skills require that you know the different means in which you can communicate and what sorts of responses your methods could ignite. Using passive or aggressive behavior in these relationships can have unfavorable consequences for both parties involved, which would create stumbling blocks in the path of positivity.

Being assertive helps to send your message across in a clear manner; taking the other person’s feelings into consideration. Telling people what to do rather than asking shows a lack of assertiveness and this will only cause a dent in exchanges.

Interaction is a two-way process and your attitude towards situations may differ depending on the other person. Here are ways to try assertiveness:

Manage Responses

Choose your attitude. Assertiveness is considered a balanced behavior and as such, you can choose the balance between passivity and aggressiveness. Not everyone can be assertive in every situation, especially when you’re trying to stand by your conviction firmly. There’s always the avenue to be passive or aggressive in communication, but emotional intelligence could help to balance the lever enough for you to be assertive. Try to express your thoughts and feelings in an honest, straightforward and correct way.

Be Attentive

Listen to the other person. Assertiveness involves other people’s feelings and as such, you should too. When you want to respond to them, make your thoughts known in a completely clear and honest way. Let them feel like you appreciate their thoughts and concerns and that you are giving them the space to understand your point as well. Also listen to the opinion of others, take advices that you think are good and gently reject the ones you think are not. When you listen well, you catch details that form people’s opinions or feelings and are able to deal with them accordingly in a non-aggressive manner.

Ownership and Accountability

Do not allow others to impose their orders on you if they are the kinds that go against your principles. However, whatever actions you end up taking should be one which you can own and be accountable for. You are responsible for your own actions. That’s part of being assertive – you are not blaming anyone for the failure of your results, just as much as you won’t really give someone else credit for your success. Avoid getting manipulated or offended by aggressive people.


It is the ultimate thing you can do to be assertive. Be clear. Be concise and precise. Defend your views and feelings firmly and articulately, such that you don’t come off as aggressive. Avoid getting anxious while doing this; it often affects your delivery while communicating. Confidence is the only thing that goes really well with assertiveness asides its actual nature of clarity.

Give Compliments

Rather than shooting people’s points down, give compliments if you feel they have done really well. Even if they haven’t, compliment their efforts and explain what you thought of their work, offering to help in finding solutions or making it better. Appreciate their achievements; they have worked hard to attain them. Assertiveness is an attitude towards success and that should reflect in the way you handle things. Have a fantastic knowledge of emotional grip and control, being assertive solves issues easily and effectively.


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